Posted on October 15th, 2015
WARNING : This review will be full of offensive material, so if you are offended by anything in the history of the world, this may not be the game for you. Swearing is included.
Now that we have that out of the way, welcome to another edition of A Roll of The Dice Reviews, in which we break down the pros and cons of some of the biggest games on the market. I have purposefully avoided this game because I knew there was no way to do it justice without the review being over the top, offensive, and so much swearing. Just so much fucking swearing rolled into one of the most oddly refreshing games you will play.
This is one of the games that I absolutely hate playing, but I also love it for the same reasons. All of which are just allowing myself to be a complete and utter dick to everyone and everything. Is it the greatest game in existence? Hell no it isn’t, but is it guaranteed to make you laugh almost every time you play it? Hell yes it will.
Let’s start with a brief breakdown of how the game works.
Cards Against Humanity is a game of completing random scenarios. The “reader” draws a Black Card and reads off the sentence on it. Most of the time the sentence will be missing either one, two, or three words, or will be asking you to answer a question. These questions can be as innocent as “What is that smell?” all the way to “During sex, I like to think about (blank).” The fun is not in the question though, it is in the possibility of the answers.
This game is one in which you are not playing against the game itself, you are playing the player who is choosing. You need to find out if offensive, historical, funny, or random works best with the person who will be choosing. Most of the time, the players go with funny, but after a few beers, shit goes wild and offensive tends to win (Except when BATMAN is played, you always choose BATMAN!).
The answers can also be pretty tame, such as “Miley Cyrus at 55”, but most of the time you will be yelling “Bigger, Blacker, Cock”, “Ethnic Cleansing”, or the famous “Dead Babies”, which while making you feel dirty, also gives you a sense of accomplishment for not looking like an asshole.
The game starts with each player taking a set of ten white cards, which will have the phrases we need to complete the black ones. This is your hand, and each time you play a card, you will redraw one to fill your hand. Always maintaining a hand size of ten, unless the black card gets you to play more than one but only draw one.
The chosen winner of each round is given the black card, and that is your point total. The first player to a set amount (usually ten) is the winner. Fairly simple concept for the game.
There is a shit lot of alternate house rules, such as betting your black cards to redraw new white ones, or betting a black card to play an additional white card if you are stuck between two different answers. Our group usually makes a few of our own rules, and we even played with the rule that the game puts in a random white card, and if it reaches ten before anyone else, we all lose. It was really close too, fucking thing made it to seven on us.
It is one of the most simple concepts I have ever played in my life. The entire game can be explained in like ten minutes to a group of deep south players.
The house rules were definitely created by a group of pot smoking monkeys in a lab. They make no god damned sense, but are so perfect for this game.
The box design is basic, slim, easy to store, and can be taken anywhere that you want. It is also super easy to bring on vacation (assuming you are going straight to hell).
The company went as far as to literally send shit in a box to people who demanded a Black Friday sale. That is right, they literally shit on all of their fans for being greedy pricks.
In the Bigger, Blacker Box, there is a hidden card SEWN INTO the god damn lining of the top of the box! Who the hell comes up with this shit? If you do not desecrate the game, cutting the top open, you will never have the secret card. I am not telling you what it is, but I am the reason four of my friends even knew it was there.
Only a con if you take offense to things – The game is the most offensive thing I have ever played, but remember it is only as offensive as the players want it to be. If you want an easy, non offensive version, play apples to apples.
The game itself is a bit pricey for a card game, but that is what you get for making it one of the most popular (both loved and hated) games of our generation.
There is so many damned expansions it will make you shit cards. I lost count at like twenty, as there is even new ones with pictures, colors, and the words you do not say on television. Oh ya, George Carlin’s words.
Every time you play this game with new people, it is a brand new game. You have new people who are excited to play, and some who realize quickly that maybe they made the wrong choice, to change that opinion like ten minutes in.
Every time you play, the game itself is different. There is so many card combinations that it is virtually impossible to play the exact same combinations twice in your lifetime. This goes to show a game that interests more people just because they want to see all of the random mixtures that may come up.
This is one of the easiest games to pick up, to learn, and to teach. It is fucking perfect for new players, seasoned players, and that one guy who sits in the corner bitching about the rules, and how we always fuck them up. You know who you are you self righteous prick.
The game does get a bit dry if you end up playing for hours (like we usually do) as all the good cards are played fast, and you get stuck with a shit hand. Also playing against the same people sucks because you learn quickly they tend to pick the same types of answers every time.
Once you have played the game as often as I have, the cards become a bit predictable as well. You tend to hear a groan when the shitty black cards are played (I am looking at you Haiku, I always create a perfect one, and it losses to a set-up a kindergartner would use to insult their girlfriend).
This has been said several times, but it still holds true. This is the first game that literally tests you as a decent human being, and will make the most innocent of people talk about “Edmonton hookers giving icy handjobs” or dropping “Smallpox blankets” over the children of the middle east.
This game is so much more fun when you are drinking, especially Vodka. So much can be said about the power of light drinking and card games.
There is way too many fucking expansions. I know I said this before, but this is something that needs to be said so many more times. The only good thing is getting blank cards, and making up whatever you want to put on them.
Daniel Radcliffe’s Delicious Asshole. You will understand when you play the game.
This game is a whirlwind of amazing things, mixed with so much bullshit, it makes one of the best and worst games I have ever played. I can guarantee you that you will enjoy playing this game at least a few times, so pick up a copy and try it out.
The last thing I will say, is that you can not go wrong with this being a party game, and you will quickly learn which of your friends are the real funny people, and which are just a complete bag of dicks. Either way, I hope you have an amazing time playing an amazing game.
Next time, we will be going over another one of my favorite games. Want to know which one? Come on back, and read another Roll of The Dice review.